So you saw in the "I just watched thread" I saw a movie called Sucker Punch. This is Sucker Punch from 2003 not the upcoming hottie nazi battling sucker punch. Anyway I was telling my friend about the movie, I wrote up this whole synopsis of the movie to describe why it sucked. I'm posting it here because it was so long I'd hate for only one person to read it. Instead two people will (R_Z and that's it probably
) anyway here goes:
So the main character, Mike, is some dude who recruits whores (says he's a pimp but not really). The message he relays at the beginning of the movie is to not fall in love with a ho or you'll become an even bigger bitch than them. So after he recruits this ho he wants to get out of the game. He asks this ho (which he likes I guess) to go with him. She says no, and then sucks his dick.
Then some cops roll up, they have a conversation in the car that Mike stole the boss's money and that they need to teach him a lesson, not kill him but hurt him. They are crooked cops that work for the boss (duh). Mike denies that he stole any money so they hand cuff him and one cop rapes the ho while he watches, then they stab him and leave him for dead.
He wakes up in a hospital. It just so happens that a christian couple were walking by and saved his life. They leave him a bible which has their number in it and they say they can call him them any time. So Mike goes home and smokes some crack. He then has a vision and thinks he sees black Jesus in his house. He calls up the christian woman they go to a diner to discuss what he saw. She tells him Jesus wasn't black and not everyone goes to heaven. He gets upset.
So now he is a Christian and working at a Chinese restaurant. He's talking to that ho again that he likes and tries to get her to stop being a ho. She still doesn't want to stop or something like that. During some montage he adopts this stray 3 legged dog. He goes over to the ho's house to get her to read the bible. Well she had a client in there who overdosed on drugs so instead he had to help her move the body out of the house. They drop the body down the stairs and then someone shows up so they run. The ho can't go back to her house so she stays at Mike's house.
Eventually they get to talking and Mike ends up telling her that he really did have the money he stole and that they could move away and get rich using this real estate thing. He leaves the house and she begins to search for the money. She eventually finds it and decides to go shopping. Since she's a ho and had been missing for 2 weeks some of the henchmen go to find her, they find her shopping and take her to the boss. They raid mike's house and take his dog (some other guy feeds that dog to his even bigger dog I don't feel like interweaving this into the synopsis) Eventually the boss find's Mike again and he ends up having to have to pay off the ho's debt. So he's forced to become a male prostitute and get fucked by guys. So he does. Then he still has to work, instead this time he acts as the muscle, to beat up dudes who beat up hoes.
Since he had such a traumatic experience he smokes some crack, finds out Jesus was just some guy who borrowed his mop, he remembers that not everyone can go to heaven and then goes and hunts down all the bad guys. They actually come to his house to kill him but to lure him out they have the ho go in to shoot him. She asks if she shoots him will he shoot her back. She shoots him and he goes down. Then eventually kills all the bad guys but not her. She just cries and runs away. Then we're reminded at the end to not fall in love with hoes otherwise you'll become and even bigger bitch than them.